Friday, January 25, 2013

Back Scratch Fever!

I've always been a huuuge fan of back scratches. Not back massages, though I wouldn't turn one down... I just love having my back scratched. It's especially soothing when I'm not feeling well.

Ever since E was born, there's been a shortage of them in our house. During my pregnancy, I was almost always guaranteed an early-to-bed night, watching all the Forensic Files I wanted, eating cookies in bed, while E kicked happily in my belly, and Mark scratched my back until I fell sleep.

Now I'm lucky if I get a "good job" pat on the shoulder sometime between dinner dishes and bath time. Occasionally I get to hit the recliner for a few stolen moments of me-time after E falls asleep and crash soon after. That's the most pampering I get.

As with most things in my life that are lacking, I eventually get to the point where I decide to take matters into my own hands and solve the problem myself.

At 3am this morning, between bathroom visits (almost over this stomach flu!), I googled: automatic back scratchers. I figured that in this age of great technology some genius (with an itch she couldn't scratch) would have devised something.

Here is what I found (right)... The first option is probably the most realistic, though I'm convinced it's secretly a Transformer that will extend its robotic legs and crawl into my brain. I don't trust it. And I just don't feel like the others qualify as "automatic." I have considered suspending a device from the ceiling, though... so I think the cow is on to something!

To add insult to injury, the cat photo came with the caption: "The alternative for lonesome people!" Thanks for the reminder.

There was one other option I found. I'm not sure why, but it didn't include a picture. It's a hand-written description of how the final prototype should be constructed:

Flame from lamp (A) catches on curtain (B) and fire department sends stream of water (C) through window. Dwarf (D) thinks it is raining and reaches for umbrella (E), pulling string (F) and lifting end of platform (G). Iron ball (H) falls and pulls string (I), causing hammer (J) to hit plate of glass (K). Crash of glass wakes up pup (L) and mother dog (M) rocks him to sleep in cradle (N), causing attached wooden hand (O) to move up and down along your back. --Rube Goldberg TM & © of Rube Goldberg.

1 comment:

Janice Gifford said...

I can still remember my Grandfather's solution. He would leave his room daily when I was a kid to find his favorite hallway doorjam, position himself just right, and proceed to slide up and down and back and forth thus scratching his back manually