Saturday, June 16, 2012

Siri: Personal Assistant or Evil Mastermind Conspirator?

Okay, so last weekend (or was it 2 weekends ago?), I decided that I would let Siri be my personal assistant, because, let's be honest here... I need one.

So, forgive me while I think this one through. I need to make a decision about Siri's future here at Your Mom Is Strange.

  1. I can ask "What's the weather today?" and Siri responds promptly with details about the forecast and what I should wear.
  2. I ask her, "What is the fastest route to Montpelier from here?" and she searches and shows me alternate routes.
  3. She manages my music collection quite well and readily skips, repeats, or shuffles as needed. This is handy while driving.
  4. She can send text messages for me and read them to me. -Also handy while driving.
  5. I can tell her to "Call Mark," and she does so without hesitation.
  6. She will find photos of weird things I'm curious about.
  7. Entertainment value from Cons below...
  1. Her voice is robotic and kind of annoying. "Readyyy... to-send?"
  2. Siri lacks any kind of real or artificial intelligence. So, when my nephew instructs her to call me "Madam Farts A Lot," she is happy to comply. Repeatedly. In public.
  3. She hasn't quite mastered my strange English/New York/Vermont accent and has sent my friends text messages with odd phrases like "donut hulls," "I'm so Siri," "Norma, Norma," and "Incoming for Longwood." I tried using the male British version of Siri and speaking to him like Hermoine Granger, but that didn't work. (He did, however, make "Madam Farts A Lot" sound less like an insult and more like the name of a posh English... prostitute?)
  4. She doesn't quite get Mark's sense of humor. He'll send racy text messages when he knows she'll be reading them out loud to me. There's something unsettling about hearing a female robot say, "Me love you long time," and "Five dolla, make you holla."
  5. She won't actually create a shopping list for me. We had a 5 minute argument about creating a note versus a list, and at the end, she said, "I'm sorry. I don't understand, Madam Farts A Lot."
  6. She can't clean my apartment.
I do think she may be an evil mastermind conspirator out to ruin me and destroy everything that is good in the world, but I think I'll keep her on for awhile longer. She actually seems to be getting used to my accent, and the entertainment value is a biggie for me. She's my own personal jester. Dance, Siri, dance!


Cassandra Henri said...

hahaha 'Madame Farts A Lot'. I am not familiar with Siri, but sometimes the commercials with her weird me out. I'm sensing a little bit of an evil mastermind conspirator behind that voice too.

Gretchin said...

Hahaha!! Right?!

KJ Gifford said...

I tried to use Siri today. I wanted to call Heron Graphics. Siri could not find Heron Graphics in my address book. Would I like to call Karen Watson? No, Heron Graphics - H-E-R-O-N. Siri: That's what I figured. Then nothing. Me: Siri, are you there, Siri are you there? Call Heron Graphics? How Gretchin Gifford, really Gretchin Gifford from Heron Graphics? Maybe Siri and you have something going on.

Gretchin said...

Hahaha! Siri is trying to destroy my life. That's what's going on. Haha!