Sunday, October 21, 2012

My Wait

I've been trying to get this shot (well, not this one) all summer! I think I may have missed my opportunity this season, but we'll see what next weekend brings.

I've watched this calf grow up as I passed this farm each day on my way to bring E to day care. She has a habit of wandering out of the barn and settling under the crooked tree just as the sun rises over the mountains, evaporating any foggy mists in its path. She soaks up the warmth, and the crooked tree glows in a massive halo above her. The reason the tree glows so much is because a colony of spiders have spent the night weaving intricate webs from branch to branch, each strand strung with beads of morning dew.

It's breathtaking -- warm, and magical. If I could only capture it with my camera. Each day that the shot was just perfect, I had E with me. I couldn't pull over and leave her in the car while I ventured out to get my photo. I'm adventurous enough to take her with me, but I knew to get just the right angle I'd have to walk alongside the busy highway in a spot that I wouldn't be very visible to oncoming traffic -- definitely not baby nor mommy safe.

I decided to wait. Each day that I passed that perfect photo, I took it in and gave it more thought -- what angle I would get, which lens I would use. I wondered if the iPhone would be sufficient if I could just capture that moment.

This Saturday morning I was finally alone on that road, and though it wasn't the perfect moment, I thought I would scope out the scene. This is the photo I took -- the lighting is right, the cow was there, but that's about it. I now know that I need my digital SLR, possibly my telephoto lens, and just the right moment. I need to get there before sunrise on a warm, fall morning and wait.

Before I had E, I wouldn't have waited. I would have gotten a hurried, okay shot and been just fine with it. Now I'm suddenly fine with waiting. In fact, it's more than fine. I'm enjoying waiting, enjoying wondering if I really need this photo, taking pleasure in planning my next visit to that dirt road.

I don't know what's changed. I suppose I don't have time to do the things I used to do. I'm forced to slow down and focus all my energy on some seemingly small tasks -- bathing a baby, making dinner, reading a bedtime story.

These are the important things. I know that now.

So, this photo is not my extraordinary shot, my breathtaking moment. This photo is my wait. And I might just love it more.

7 comments:

KJ Gifford said...

This is one of my favorite pieces of your writing ever. It is beautiful and insightful. I loved it. You have a big fan!

Andi said...

I loved this! And it's a great reminder to me - I'm still in the moving-faster phase of parenthood. Looking forward to reading more...

Gretchin said...

Thank you both so much! Andi -- I think I will be fighting against this phase for awhile. Today I found my lens cap in an unlikely spot and thought it was a sign from the universe that I would get my pic today. Upon arriving at the farm, I found that I had forgotten my camera card. I was so angry. Haha! Baby steps... :-)

Anonymous said...

Lovely - both the words and the waiting photo. Anticipation is one of the unsung pleasures, isn't it? Being able to enjoy the process and the planning is such a strong element of contentment. (I came from the Hump Day Hook Up.)

AdminG said...

Thank you so much for your kind words! I look forward to checking out your blog!

Rabia Lieber said...

I think this shot looks beautiful, but I know what you mean about it not being the right one. Certain shots seem to take on a mythical quality in my head that I can't seem to capture with a camera.

Molley Mills said...

I want to live there. That is all, such a beautiful looking spot. Thanks for hooking up to the Hump Day Hook Up