Monday, October 15, 2012

You Know What?

I love myself. Yep, that's right... I love myself.
I just realized that I'm professing my love for... me. (ahem)
And that's weird.
But, it's not, really... because who knows me better? Who knows all my weaknesses, all my imperfections, every single shortcoming better than me? No one. In fact, those who think that they've discovered new reasons to not like me -- they're wrong. There are plenty of old reasons to not like me: 1. I'm not a reliable friend: I don't always call, I don't make plans to get together, and I have a mix of good and bad moods that all run into each other. 2. After being totally calm and respectful and nice for months, I will occasionally tell someone to go screw themself. Yeah, that happened today. 3. Um, I don't dress well (if that's important to people), and lately I only shower every other day if my hair looks okay.
Ok, the list could go on... and people can decide to not like me for other reasons -- like Facebooking about my (incredibly amazing) daughter too much or for eating too many Pop Tarts, but I will not allow myself to be affected by those things -- because those things are all coming from a place of good intentions and not from my list of shortcomings.
And that list? Yeah, I'm working on it. So, if someone's going to judge me, I sure as hell hope they're working on their own list too.
Anyway, the point is, I just walked myself through a really embarassing moment from last week -- where all those shortcomings were present -- twisted, warped, and awkwardly shaped into a very strange situation in which I poured my soul out in a big, pukey mess to someone I don't know very well, which would usually result in a self-loathing pity party on a Monday morning.
And... I just realized that if I were to continue with this metaphor, I'd be eating my own puke. So, let's say that I poured my soul out like a songbird's melody, and I absorbed it back into myself, and I was 100% okay with it. In fact, I loved it. It was me. All of me -- and it was, dare I say it, beautiful.

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