Monday, April 2, 2012

Want To

I want to blog today but just can't find the motivation.

Recovery is going ok but I still can't lift the baby or hold her for long periods of time.

My parents are busy with Grandpa's funeral, and all I want to do is call and cry for my mommy. How's that for pathetic?

My mother-in-law is helping with E today which is great, but every time E cries I just melt. Every part of me wants to run to her and make everything ok. Instead I just keep my distance except to talk to her or play with her briefly. It just breaks my heart that I can't be a good mommy to her right now. I hope she doesn't remember this and have security issues for the rest of her life.

I feel like such a wreck right now. I blame the pain meds.

Someone on Twitter thought that E had surgery based on how I worded my tweet. And it was a good reminder that things could be much worse. I'm very blessed to have a happy, healthy baby.

There, I blogged!

2 comments:

Diana said...

I love your honesty here. And you know what? We ALL go through it!

My mom always had this saying, and it didn't stick until I was a mother: "When you're in an airplane, and it's going down, the attendant will always tell you to take the air for yourself before helping anyone else - even your baby."

What the heck does that mean? It mean that being a "good mom" is also about making sure you take care of yourself, and allowing others to step in for you when you need time to get healthy/back to normal again for your child.

So, BRAVO!, for accepting that you need to recover and get better, and allowing others to do the work for you right now.

♥ !

Gretchin said...

Thanks, D!! I have to keep telling myself that! And all guilt aside, this is only one week out of her life. I know she'll survive. And her Dad, Nana, and Auntie are the best possible stand-in moms I could ask for!