Friday, November 2, 2012

Awkward Family Friday!

It's no secret that, when I get nervous, I talk too much -- which would be fine, except I usually say the first thought that jumps into my head, and my filter that prevents inappropriate phrases from slipping out temporarily shuts down

So, on Tuesday, I came home from E's 9-month checkup and asked Mark if I could share my awkward doctor's office moment with him. I needed to put it in perspective and see if it was as bad as I thought it was.
I spilled my guts: "Ok, so I got my flu shot today, so I can go with you tomorrow in case you pass out. (Though, Mark's a trooper with needles, he occasionally passes out minutes later in the parking lot. It hasn't happened in years, but I like to be there just in case.) You know how I get nervous around needles... Well, I told that story about how one of E's first words was "vagina."

Mark assessed the situation and said, "Oh, that's not too bad..."
I continued, "Ok, Part 2. I meant to tell the doctor that I would be back with you in the morning, because you sometimes pass out after your flu shot... But what I said was, 'Mark sometimes goes down on me after his flu shot.'"
Mark: "That's just hilarious... but still not worse than what I said today..."
Me: "Wait, what?? You had an awkward moment!?"
Sidenote: The difference between us is that I tend to overreact to my awkward moments and dwell on them for weeks... Mark tends to tell his casually, as if this is just how the cards fall sometimes...
So, he began his story, casually, almost in passing:
"Yeah, so today I was talking to the boss's wife in the break room, and she's always interested in what new things E is doing. I mentioned that she's getting really tall, and she said that her kids were always short -- that it was hard for them to play sports like basketball, etc. Then, what I meant to say was, 'Spud Webb was a great basketball player, and he wasn't very tall.'
What I said was 'Spuds MacKenzie.'"
For those of you who don't know or remember (I didn't), this is Spuds Mackenzie (left).

As I almost suffocated from laughing so hard, Mark continued, "She said she would tell her son... I also told her that Spuds MacKenzie couldn't dunk or anything but was still a great player... Spud Webb was actually known for dunking."

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