E saw a small portion of the news tonight -- just some of the destruction -- before she went to bed. She said, "Oh no," and "Sad." How does she know from seeing so little? My sweet, smart baby.
My first reaction was to tell her, "Everything is okay." And I did. But it's not. And I felt compelled to validate her feelings. So, I told her, "You're right. You're very smart. People are sad. But you make me happy, and we're okay." I told her that we would pray about it and that we'll always protect each other.
I'm heartbroken. I feel that same feeling I felt when she hurt herself for the first time -- a cut on her finger from the kitchen cupboard, something beyond my control. Even then, I sensed her distrust with the world around her, a world she only ever knew as safe and secure.
I tell myself that these tragedies -- from a first cut to her first heartbreak will make her strong, will teach her compassion and empathy.
Well, today, I don't want her to be strong.
I want her to grow up in a world that lets her be vulnerable, a world that lets her be free without fear, a world that she can occasionally lash out at that won't hurt her back.
This is my prayer for her, along with those prayers for all our friends and family affected by this tragedy.
3 comments:
You are a good Mom!
I keep thinking about this. Your writing and your feelings are so honest and raw here. You really have the soul of a writer. I remember when Christian first saw something sad on the TV and I was amazed that he could tell. We have God-given empathy you wonder what happens to some of us that allows tragedies such as this to happen.
Thanks, Kim!! It makes me feel so blessed to have our family!! :-)
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