Monday, April 22, 2013


My sister-in-law suggested that I return to this format to motivate me to write more, and I think she's 100% right.

So, where do I begin? It's not just that I'm behind on blogging... it's that every moment with E seems like an entire blog entry. Not to go all Shakespearean-drama love on you guys, but I could write a hundred pages about her smile, a book about how her nose wrinkles when she laughs. I'm just so smitten with her and how she interacts with us and her world.

I wanted to write about the argument Mark and I had every morning for the last 3 months -- about how to better communicate to help get us all out the door on time and how, on the worst day, he apologized and surprised me with a homemade lunch at work.

I wanted to write about our huge ordeal cleaning out the closet in Ellie's room, but how we worked together to create a fun space for her. Then, after insisting that Mark get rid of all of his "useless receipts and papers," I found among them some of our love letters and a fortune from a fortune cookie he got when we were first dating. I remember he opened it, read it, looked up at me from across the table, and got a big, teary-eyed grin on his face. The fortune said: "Happy life is just in front of you."

But instead, I see every little minute as a missed writing opportunity. They aren't all sad, fleeting moments, they're just flying by too quickly. It's like driving to California but trying to stop and look at every rock and blade of grass on the way.

I can't capture them all, so I may as well just keep moving... even though I know in my heart that capturing just one would mean something.

Anyway, this is my attempt! Lingering way too long in this analogy, I've decided to stop to pee on my life journey. Haha!

Today we went to the circus. I get it -- juggle some balls, swing some hula hoops, bring out a horse, and charge you $30. I expected it, but I was still discouraged. The circuses I went to as a kid had elephants, tigers, and lions. And though E was mesmerized by the camels and juggling skills, she was absolutely heartbroken to see the other kids getting light-up wands and balloons from the toy cart. She didn't understand why she couldn't have them too. So we gave in (on the cheapest of the circus treats). They kept her busy when she got bored with the clown, and we saved money by packing our own dinner for the evening.

Mark: How did they just happen to have all the types of toys she loves -- light-up wands and huge balloons?
Me: They're criminal masterminds.

It's true. But $30 isn't too much to pay for our first family outing of the summer or the first time we experienced family-fun-day buyers' remorse. As Seinfeld says, "There's no such thing as fun for the whole family." And the non-fun times are our badges of survival, the stories we tell our grandkids -- the sad part of the story that leads us to our happy ending.

And some day I will tell E's kids about how we paid $30 to buy their mom a $7 wand and a $2 balloon... How we had to chase after her when she tried to storm the stage to steal the juggling rings from the performers, and how neither Mark nor I seemed alarmed that she was chewing on something that we later learned was styrofoam from the wand, because we just thought she was eating her own boogers. And how she happily babbled all the way home to "Mama" and "Dada" and made sure we were both still in the car, because she was so happy to have us all together for our first official 2013 spring/summer family outing!

Listening To
The Ronettes -- Be My Baby

Weather in VT
Sunny and chilly!