You Know It's Time to Clean Out the Car When...

You have a rogue Combos bag attempting every means of escape. No matter where I throw it, it somehow makes its way to the floor of the driver's side of the car. From there, it turns into a jet-propelled paper airplane every time I open the car door.

Yesterday, I got E all buckled into her car seat, lunches set neatly in the front passenger seat. I walked around to the driver side, swung the door open, and it escaped.

A woman was walking into our building, and I imagined the rogue Combos bag flying up and getting plastered across her face, hair whipping in the wind, arms flailing, purse tumbling to the ground, cosmetics rolling across the parking lot.

I dove to the ground and caught it at her feet. I giggled nervously... "Uh... just having my morning cup of coffee and bag of Combos," I joked. She smiled politely, judgmentally.

I stuffed the bag down onto the floor of the passenger side of the car, as I hopped back in. It also smells... there must be a used diaper wedged under one of the seats. It's like a strange mix of urine and junk food. My biggest fear is that one of my coworker's is going to suggest car-pooling somewhere, so I've come up with a list of excuses just in case:

1. There's no gas in my car.
2. I got a ride with, um, Lance...a..lot this morning.
3. Sure, if you don't mind riding with my 2 pit-bulls!
4. Better not, I spilled seafood gumbo all over the back seat last night.
5. Eh, sorry... drove the smart car today.

Changed My Mind

So... after exporting my Dream Diary blog and merging it with this one, I decided that wasn't such a good idea.

Here are the reasons:
1. This blog now feels a little disjointed.
I don't have time to write very often, so I think it's best I stick to 2 main topics: mom stuff and design. I will touch on the "intuition" part. It just won't be in the forefront as much as before.

2. I want to feel free to explore the clairvoyant "experiment" extensively.
That will eventually mean sharing my blog with that community. And there are some weirdos up in there... potentially. Definitely. I may be one of them. I want to feel pretty open to talk about what I want to talk about on YMIS, and it will be E-focused. I don't want her to be so openly visible to that community.

3. I feel a little self-conscious blogging about it.
A lot of my family come here to read about E and what's new in my life, funny stories about what's going on with us and little pieces of inspiration and love in our lives. If they're not interested in the intuitive aspect, it's hard to avoid. I liked that initially, and Mark insisted that I forge ahead, fearless of judgment, and that I not make a decision based on what anyone else thought of me. I spent a lot of time thinking about this, because I understand what he means, and I value his point of view, and I agree with him. But I decided that it's not that I'm necessarily afraid of being judged for writing about this... I mean "strange" is a way of life, and I've walked the strange path a long time. I sense when I'm being judged. It's uncomfortable but bearable, and I always go my own way. I just concluded that this was more about giving my readers a choice and allowing myself to be more comfortably (and therefore fully) immersed in this intuitive experiment.

4. I think I have a blog addiction.
If I'm not writing for at least 2 blogs at once, I get bored... What's wrong with me? That's just a hypothetical question. Please don't answer it. Haha!

So, here it is... my secret corner of the world. It's all tied into this blog, but anyone accessing the intuitive blog can't get back to YMIS or access any personal information about me. You're the only ones who have the key to the back gate! And if you want to just hang out here in E land (it's lovely here, isn't it?), you can!

Link: The Intuitive Experiment

In the Light of the Moon

"In the light of the moon, a little egg lay on a leaf."

Every night before bed, we read E "The Very Hungry Caterpillar." I point to the little egg and the big moon.

Then I ask her, "Do you see the moon?" She points to the egg and says, "Moon!!"

From her bedroom window, the moon does look as small as an egg on a leaf. The moon on the page is too big. She says that's a "ball."

Yesterday, after shopping with my parents, we went back to the car, and I got her buckled into her carseat. She looked out the back window, pointed way up, and said, "Moon!!! Moon! Moon!!"

I put my head in the car and looked up out the back window. There was an old building behind our car that blocked out the sky. In the top-floor window was an orange glowing lightbulb.

I love seeing the world through her eyes.

I can't wait until she's old enough to understand how epically large the moon is, and I hope she can always imagine it in its simplest form -- to always be able to find it in a lightbulb or in an egg on a leaf.

I'm Happy

I have no first world problems to complain about today! No baby keeping me up until the wee hours of the night. No lack of good food and snacks in the fridge. No running out of dip before finishing my chips...

E is sitting on my lap watching Blue's Clues as I write this. She just whipped around and quickly pointed a finger right at my nose. I must have looked cross-eyed staring down at her finger. "NOOO!!!" she yelled. I searched my brain for what I did to offend her until I realized she was pointing out my "nose." Oh my gosh she cracks me up sometimes.

Mark brought her a tulip plant for Valentine's Day, and she's been obsessed with giving it "drinks" and talking to it to encourage it to grow. She says "Love you!" and blows kisses to the plant. And sure enough, already, the little flowers bloomed. I was a little concerned after she showed them some tough love this week by pinching the flower buds and twisting the stems. But, they seem as in love with her as I am, even after she squeezes my nose too hard or pulls my hair.

I also found a great forum on spirituality over the weekend. So far I love the people I've met and have already found some great resources for research. I feel lots of love and positive energy in my life right now, and it's wonderful!

iPad Blogging!

Hey hey! I'm blogging from Mark's iPad with his wireless keyboard! I feel so techie now! ...Except for the Kleenex box I'm using to prop up the screen...

I don't have much new to share -- the sleep training is going swimmingly. All of a sudden I have a lot more time to write, craft, etc. And... I'm drawing a blank. I'm watching a lot of TV instead. I hope this is just a phase... side effects of a year's worth of TV withdrawal.

Tonight's lineup: The Office, then Castle!

Sleep Training

So, after a week of 6-hour cry-fests, and after trying every possible sleep training method we could find for the last 4 weeks, we decided to try "cry it out," which surprisingly didn't involve a lot of crying.

We went with the Ferber method. I think if she was super upset, I couldn't have done it. I'm just not a "cry it out" kinda mama. It's so counterintuitive to my clingy parenting techniques, but I had this feeling that she would do really well with some alone time in the evening, and she has! The crying has been minimal and significantly less than when we were by her side constantly.

This is only the first night, so I'm trying not to get too excited about how well it worked, but it was telling that, after Mark put in a late work night and came home at 8pm to find his daughter in bed, asleep on her own (after 6 hours of hell last night), he got all teary-eyed and gave me a huge hug. Poor babies... He gives so much of his time to her, he deserves a break.

He and I went to bed in the same bed for the first time in over a year. I slept for a full 5 hours before she woke up again. She asked for a drink then took about 20 minutes of whimpering to fall back asleep. And that 20 minutes involved 4 check ins, lots of words of encouragement, snuggles, and a diaper change. So, I feel like she was secure in knowing I was there for her.

Also, for the first time, I got a real glimpse of her little personality when I wasn't right by her side. She hugged her Blue lovey, sang the Blue's Clues song, and chatted away. There were tears, but my mommy-sense told me that she wasn't hurt or hungry, just tired and wanting to fall asleep. She even asked for "night night," and I knew that I was indirectly giving her the peace she needed.

My biggest fear was that she would learn that I wasn't coming to get her, that she would "give up" on me, that she would lose faith in me. But, I actually got a sense that it was the opposite -- she seemed to know that I would be back to check on her in a specific interval of time. I set my phone alarm to be sure I was on time, and that consistency seemed to calm her. I genuinely believe that she immediately picked up on the pattern of my check-ins and trusted that I was there for her. After the first 20 minutes of whimpering, she started to lull herself to sleep.

No screaming fits, no banging her head against the wall. I was there for comfort purposes only -- not to give her attention for positive (and negative) behavior or entertain her (like when she smacked me in the face with a book and laughed at me howling while I held my face and scolded her).

Still, I think all kids are different. If any other method would have worked for us (co-sleeping, etc.), we would have done it, but I honestly feel that she needed this and is content in her own space. During the worst of our co-sleeping experiences, she would ask to get in her crib -- I think she wanted so badly for us to help her fall asleep there, and I hope that this continues to work.

My biggest fear is that tomorrow night will be the worst, now that she knows crib time equals bed time, but I'm optimistic after a very short wake-up time this morning!

In other news, what's with this meteorite impact and asteroid flying at our planet? I'm a little scared that they won't tell us if the world is going to explode. They like to leave out little details like that on the news...

Anyway, happy sleeping and sky-watching! Off to get a few more ZZZs!

I'm Still Standing

Somehow! I'm still out here... Another cold/virus just went through our house -- the 3rd or 4th, I think -- I've lost count.

Anyway, some exciting things coming up once all is back to normal! I'll be officially reviewing a Genie Bra hopefully over the weekend! I'm so excited!

I also got asked by Eshakti to review a dress from their spring line! Yay! I'm hoping order it before the end of the week.

I had big plans to send out real Valentines to my readers this year, but that never happened, so I'm designing some non-holiday-specific post cards to send out soon. I found some great old cards and prints to refurbish in my thrift shop travels last week!

In other news, life is good, the day job is okay. We're surviving on a little money and a lot of love -- the way it should be! What's new with you?!

Oh.

Me: My Wacom won't work! It's a mess. I spent the last 2 hours restarting and reinstalling all the drivers. I googled this particular issue and found out that this sometimes happens after you unplug it and plug it back in... Why did you unplug it?? Now, according to this site, I have to reload the drivers under admin, not a normal user. Then I have to log in as admin every time I want to use the tablet... And, and... This article about this particular problem is 2 years old. Don't you think they would have resolved this problem by now? Probably not... They don't care if the only 2 hours of freedom I get in a day are taken up researching this issue...!! (grumble, grumble, sigh)

Mark: Did you try plugging it into the other port?

Me: (blank stare)

[2-second fix]

The Journey

This week can go to hell... Death can shove it, and I'm giving life the finger. Ugh.

I decided to do my first digital painting tonight after E went to bed early! It was the most relaxing time I've had in so long. I worked on a painting for almost 3 hours. Then my computer shut off, and I lost the entire thing.

It's the journey, not the destination, right? Right. I still feel betrayed enough to cry my eyes out.

30 hasn't been kind so far, but maybe in the morning, I can be kind enough back that it'll change its mind.

My Little Model

I'm all of a sudden realizing how nice it is to have my own little model. She loves trying on my homemade scarves and any outfits I put her in. She smiles up at me shyly and says, "Pitty!!" She loves making herself pretty! It's so sweet.

I can't wait until she's old enough to stand for longer periods of time. I've been wanting to experiment with editorial photography more! She's such a little actress -- I think she'll love being the subject of my photos!

Let It Be Digital Printable

This week I started designing some digital ATCs and playing around with some vintage prints/fonts, using public domain images from out-of-print books. As soon as I started this one, I wanted a print of it... So, here it is! You can purchase the digital version from my Etsy shop!

I really love the color of the flower contrasted with the white. The original flower image came from this site. I "vintaged" it up a bit more (that's vin-tahhhhhjd) and added the text. It just feels like a strange mix of me and the Beatles, so I like it way much!

Design Finds - Miniature Kick

I just love miniatures. If I had photographed this, they would have caught me playing dollhouse with it, making my Little People argue over who was going to get the ladder and clean the shutters. Then I would have been promptly fired.

I found it via Design Boom! It's a hand-built diorama of a Hanoi apartment block by Nguyen Manh Hung.

And it's amazing.

In other news, I have a new Facebook widget (right) so that you can follow me on Facebook. I promise laughter and silly blog posts with a swirl of design fun

Image by Christy Gallois.