Bionic Hand

Ahh, another day of pregnancy... 3 days overdue.

I think I've gone from "Oh, it's so wonderful to have all this time on my hands..." to "Good Lord, what do I do now?"

Mark and I have had to get creative finding ways to entertain ourselves. The doctor gave us the green light to have sex in hopes of starting labor, but after he worked a 12 hour day, and I had crocheted my 6th potholder (and started on my 4th baby blanket), we were both pretty exhausted. I was still willing to put in the effort, though. After I extracted myself from the sofa (which looked about as sexy as a gorilla getting out of a clown car), I said, "Want me to put in my contacts and put on a push-up bra?" to which he responded... "Don't take this the wrong way, but I would much rather watch TV in bed and go to sleep." No complaints here. By the time he turned the TV on, I was asleep.

[Side-Note: After analyzing one of my completed potholders (in a sea of half-completed baby blankets), I realized that the potholder must be the most accurate visual representation of my attention span -- a 7" x 7" square, not very deep, and covered with flowers.]

I can only guess that Mark's creation of the Bionic Hand was due to sheer boredom (and, I should add, completely unrelated to his anxiety of having sex with a pregnant gorilla). I know what you may be thinking, but, no, that's not what the Bionic Hand is used for... or at least I don't think so...

Last week Mark wanted to go to the doctor because his wrist was bothering him more than usual. The doctor thought his carpal tunnel syndrome was getting worse and gave him a wrist brace. For the last 5 days, my husband, the man-child, refuses to take it off and has been calling it his Bionic Hand.

It was funny for the first few days. He would hide behind the bathroom door and pretend to shoot lasers at me out of his fist, complete with his own "pew pew pew" sound effects. He would knock things over and say, "Woah! I don't know my own strength!" And it was the topic of our nightly conversations:

Him: "I wonder if I could upgrade this thing... add a few attachments."
Me: "You could have blades come out of it, like Wolverine."
Him: "Well, I don't know about that..."
Me: "Yeah, guess you could hurt someone."
Him: "I would probably hurt myself. Good idea, though."

Well, last night, I think he officially took it too far. After scrounging around through his Christmas gift bag, which is always filled with techie gadgets and gizmos, he emerged from the guest room wearing this. It has a claw extender (a.k.a. an extendable back-scratcher), a laser (a.k.a. a laser pen), and lightsaber sound effects (courtesy of Apple's LightSaber app for the iPod/Phone). Thanks, Apple.

I admit, I laughed... a lot. But there was a moment of realization too -- that we would get through this - the boredom, the labor, and eventually parenthood. This kid is going to have the best of the techie, crafty, and goofy in us -- probably some award-winning science projects too. ♥