Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Detective Mommy Pop

Okay, so I guess I'm raising a 2-year-old teenager!? This weekend really tested my parenting patience.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again... Every time my daughter gets sick and is fighting some kind of virus, all I see for 5+ days is a whiny, needy, little human being who just cries and loves me/hates me simultaneously. Then, when she comes out of it and is my happy kid again, she has grown a week's worth and is all of a sudden a new person.

Unfortunately, this time she came through as a teenager. All I've heard since yesterday morning has been, "Ugh, Mom!!" and "Come ON, Mom!" "I'm doing this right now," and "Don't you take this from me."

Since she had been inside all day Sunday, I took her over to work with me in the morning on Monday to pick up my laptop, before working the morning from home. It doesn't matter if I swing by work at 9am or 5pm. When she's in tow, my co-workers throw candy at her. She left with a Mini York Peppermint Patty, successfully worked the elevator all by herself, with no direction from me, and looked both ways as we left the building and crossed the parking lot.

I got her in her car seat, and she said, "I'm going to eat this now," holding up her prize chocolate.
"It's 9:00 in the morning. No."
"Don't you take this from me!" she threatened.
"Ellie, come on, give it to me. You can't have it now."
"YES. I can. I don't need your help. I can open it myself."

And she did! Those fine-motor skills just kicked into action, and she opened that candy. I gasped. She hid it behind her back.

"Mama, just close the door. Go. Drive."
"Ellie! Absolutely not. You've been sick, and you haven't even had breakfast yet. Give it to me, and you can have it back after lunch."

She handed it over, then cried her eyes out.

After lunch, she ate it and said, "Ooh, this has mint in it! Do you like mint, Mama?"
She knows mint is my favorite. "Yep, I love it."
"Well, you can't have any of it. It's mine. Don't you take it from me."

I can't remember one time I stole candy out of her hand and ate it, yet it's a very real fear for her apparently. I must look like a ravenous mint swiper.

Before bed last night, she filled the sink all the way to the very brim, despite our talks about wasting water, overfilling the sink, and when to turn it off. Mark had just shaved, and I had brushed my teeth, so it was filled with yuckiness that I was waiting to clean until the water went down. I heard Mark arguing with her in muffled frustration, "Don't turn that faucet on again. Stop putting your hands in that water. Ellie, we're done!"

I intervened, "Ellie, did you put your hands in that water after Daddy told you not to?"
"Nope, I didn't Mama. I'm just using this clean water," she said, as she turned on the faucet again.
"Ellie, that's called lying. Lying is not okay in this house. Just tell me what you did, and I won't be mad."
"Mom. I didn't do it! I didn't put my hands in the water."
After, circling around this topic for 5 straight minutes, she finally admitted that she "just put one, little finger in, and that was it."

Then I caught her very carefully leaning over the sink and sneaking her hands in the water again! When I called her out on it, she said, "Okay. Okay!! I won't do it again."

She washed her hands a final time and went to bed with no bedtime stories, the ultimate punishment. Ugh, the lying thing REALLY gets me. I hate it, I despise it. I don't do it. I am forever a truth-seeker. I know she's only 2, that she's bound to test these limits, and it's my job not to allow it and express how serious a crime it is in our house, but GAH! The fact that she did it in the first place really makes my blood boil. What else has this little stinker been fibbing about and getting away with!?

After she had been in bed for an hour, I heard her playing on her baby monitor, but it sounded louder than usual, like I could hear her in-person voice and her voice over the monitor. Sure enough, she had come out of her room and was playing baby dolls in the living room! When I said, "Ellie!! What are you doing!? You're supposed to be in bed," she responded with a wave of her hand, "Oh, just passing by..."

What on Earth am I in for?

Detective Mommy Pop is on the case. I will be investigating any and all instances of false statements. Innocent until proven guilty, but hand me my CSI kit, and bring on the teenage years!

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