You Are My Sunshine

Wow, where have the last two months gone? Someday, my dear Ellie, I hope you will read this blog and not be disappointed that I took a 2-month blogging vacation this year.

How do I sum up the last 2 months of being with my beautiful 3-year-old? I just can’t. I can’t capture every moment. And that’s okay. We lived them!

February was tough. There were temper tantrums and arguments, challenges, and trials, but I’m proud of us for working through it. A fellow mom told me that the “horrible 3s” would probably only last about 6 months. That seemed like a long time, but as usual, you’re ahead of the game, and it seems like we’ve reached a new “age of reasoning” early. I hope it lasts!

Sure, we still have our typical tough moments, but especially in the last few weeks, we communicate so well. You’ve learned to calm yourself, and I’ve learned to just let you be angry sometimes. It’s a nice balance.

And, oh the questions! Such beautiful questions you’ve asked me like, 1. “What’s a temper tantrum?” Ha! And 2. “What’s a false alarm?” and 3. “Why are two boys kissing in that video?” (You wanted to watch a short gay-rights activist documentary on YouTube):

1. That thing where you just rolled around, banging your head on the floor, screaming that you wanted a cheese stick.
2. Like, when you think something bad is about to happen but it doesn’t, and…
3. Mommy and Daddy are a couple – a girl and a boy, but some couples are two boys, some are two girls. Does anyone in your class have two mommies or two daddies?

I was prepared to give you a complete history of rights activism in America, with a brief demonstration and roll-out timeline, but you were totally unfazed about that answer. Two people who love each other getting married? What’s the big deal? “Let’s talk more about false alarms.” Smart girl.

In other news, you now get your own cheese sticks from the fridge. I can hand you a granola bar or a bag of Cheddar Goldfish, and you open it by yourself. You stand up on your bed and say things like, “Look how big I am!” And you are! Wow, you are SO tall! I’m sure you’re going to hit 6 feet soon.

Your favorite toys are Anna & Elsa dolls and Paw Patrol anything. We must create elaborate scenes in which Elsa is trapped on a frozen mountain, and the Paw Patrol has to go rescue her. “Pups, to the lookout!” “Rider needs us!”

Your favorite foods are apples, carrots, cantaloupe, cheese sticks, yogurt, peas, mashed potatoes, and ravioli.

You are caring, kind. You don’t like to see anyone get hurt on TV, especially any Paw Patrol pups, or that boy in the Mary Poppins play who pretended to fall down. When we went to see Cinderella on Friday, you couldn’t understand how the step-mom and sisters could be so mean. You exude positivity, love, and acceptance. So, I can confirm what you’ve been telling me for the last few months: that, yes, you are a princess – in all the ways that really matter.

I tell you every day, but I’ll put it in writing again anyway – I love you, I love painting with you, playing with you, dancing, singing, playing Candy Land, Paw Patrol, and Guess Who. If I sometimes seem tired or frustrated, it’s not your fault. You are and always will be my “sunshine.”

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Don't forget that we're still blogging over at ArtSourceVT.com, and we have some exciting upcoming classes listed there. Stay tuned for a FREE April workshop for parents and kids!

Pity Party

So, Mark was just diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. He'll have to be on a CPAP machine for the rest of his life. As I've begun noticing his symptoms more, I started paying closer attention to Ellie's sleep habits. Yep, she has it too. Her pediatrician is sending us to a specialist in Burlington on the 9th.

I know that, in the grand scheme of things, this ranks somewhere between "Ugh, Annoying" and "No Big Deal." There are some amazing parents out there who have dealt with worse. But, you know me and my anxiety. I can't sleep well -- I wake up in the night, trying to listen to her breathing. I know that every coughing spell is a sign that she's stopped breathing for a certain length of time. I've witnessed some scary ones after she's fallen asleep at bedtime.

The doctor says that her body knows what to do, so chances of her completely stopping breathing in her sleep are slim, but there are long-term developmental concerns. She's tired and cranky a lot. Of course, aren't most 3-year-olds? And I've noticed some odd speech things developing, which could all be normal. We'll know more when we talk to the specialist.

This makes me happy.

And, so, all I can do right now is wait. But, you know how I am about waiting... anticipatory anxiety is my kryptonite, and I'm not much of a superhero to begin with. I have good days and bad. This morning, I'm totally depressed. The thought of my little girl having to have her tonsils out breaks my heart, even though it's a relatively simple procedure, and we may not even have to do that. I know I can say "no" unless it's absolutely necessary, a.k.a. her life is in danger.

I thought writing about this would help me feel better, but all I've done is admit that it's a real thing when, up to this point, I've floated in and out of the preliminary worrying stage.

I don't even want this post to transition into all the wonderful things going on right now, as we're recovering from this flu. I feel like it will all be squashed by one big, looming tonsillectomy.

I want to go hide in a TV show, good music, or a box of donuts, and I don't have access to any of those things right now.

So, welcome to my pity party, readers.

If you want a more sunshiney post, check out our Birdhouse Craft Fail on the art blog. :-)

Oh Goodness

Has it really been a full month? I've been dedicating lots of time to the art site, freelance design work, and... oh yeah, raising a 3-year-old!

She's the best, and we finally had our first official birthday party with friends and family. I can't tell you how much it meant to me, especially since we were all sick on birthdays 1 and 2.

This year was all about Paw Patrol. She handled most of the party planning, ordered balloons, picked out all the supplies for her cake and helped decorate it. Is she related to my sister... or what?

She's the best, and we had a great time! 2015 is going to be a great year! I'm determined to do the usual resolution-related things like eat better, shower more, make fewer messes, and work harder. I also hope to continue raising a pretty amazing kid. I think we've done OK so far. She's awfully feisty at times, but she has a heart of gold.

I still can't believe we'll be starting our 4th year here at YMIS! It's pretty exciting! I have no plans of stopping blogging here. I write mainly for Ellie -- so she'll have a record of the early years. So, I'll definitely continue to write and update as I can.

One small change that I'm planning -- linking this site to the art blog, as essentially a MASSIVE bio if our local artist friends want to learn more about us!

What this means only right now is that Instagram is going to now be @artsourcevt. I may eventually switch over Twitter too, but we'll see... Anyway, point is -- we're in it for the long-haul.

Mark and Ellie are now quietly playing Paw Patrol. I've been assigned some role in this play. I think I'm the doctor for the pups. She keeps bringing me a pup, and nail clippers, and asking me to fix sprained paws and remove splinters. Gotta run, as we have a new patient... and, oh yeah, it's way past bedtime!

If you haven't ready my absolutely terrifying post about bringing a toddler to a gas station bathroom, check it out on the BVT Moms Blog -- The Horrors of Parenting!

Ho Ho Holy Crap! It's Almost Christmas.

Hello again, dear readers! I just realized that YMIS is going to be 3-years-old in a few weeks! I can't believe it! This was one of my first posts (here) that I wrote 12 days before having Ellie! It's nice to be able to go back in time and read about my new-mom experiences here!

Anyway, Christmas is fast-approaching, and I'm as organized as I'll ever be. Most the toys and toast crusts have been picked up off the floor. Mark has been on dish duty, and I've been following Ellie around with a mop and broom.

Therefore, our house is livable, I've picked up Ellie's ToysRUs layaway. I've finished one true-crime book, one true-haunting book, and am halfway through another fiction mystery. I've made almost all of my homemade Christmas gifts, Ellie has had a bath this week, hair washed, in a ponytail, nails cut and painted.

We have snow tires on both vehicles, have solidified holiday plans, and my anxiety is manageable. I even helped manage our company's sponsor-a-family donation collection this year, for 2 families! We delivered the gifts yesterday, and it felt GREAT to know we were helping families have a brighter holiday this year.

I mean, you know, I'm behind on design work, haven't finished all my homemade Christmas presents, haven't wrapped a thing, am totally NOT doing yoga, and I never did get our Christmas cards out (there's still hope!). But you know what? I'm focusing on the things I have done! Yay me!

Elle is super excited about Christmas this year, which is making it SO fun. Her little stuffed snowman has been bringing her Hershey kisses or M&Ms every morning, and she's so happy to get up and check her advent calendar.

I can't wait to see her face on Christmas morning, when she gets to open the presents we got her. The other day, Mark was driving her to day care, and she said, "I just want to sit here and imagine it's Christmas."

And, each morning, she asks... "Is today Christmas?" When the day finally arrives, it is going to blow. her. mind. Stockings and candy, yummy food, and presents. Every kids' dream! And yeah, family togetherness, and all that jazz too! The holidays are magical.

As you probably know by now, if I'm quiet over the next few weeks, you can find me over at the BVT Moms Blog. Stay tuned for a post entitled Documenting Life -- all about how I came to terms with what I could and couldn't do under the pressure to preserve memories and take millions of photos of my kid AND some great resources for preserving memories!

We're also making TONS of art! Check it out in Our Gallery on the ArtSourceVT page.

If you don't hear from me before next year, have a wonderful holiday season, and thanks for another wonderful year!

The Old Fool

Hello, lovely readers! Just a quick update today to document some of E's funny toddler antics.

But first! Don't forget that, if it's quiet here, you can find us at a few other virtual locations!

My most recent post for the BVT Moms Blog documents our funny story about surviving our Florida vacation (here).

My other BVT Moms Blog posts live here. And check out the other amazing writers on the site. I just love those ladies/guys!

I also recently did a guest post for MomBabble.com about why I think it's okay to tell my daughter she's beautiful (here)!

There are also frequent updates, new friends, and travels we're writing about on the art blog (artsourcevt.com)!

As always, thanks for your support, and Happy Holidays!!

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My toddler has been calling me an "old fool" lately, and her little sense of humor just seems to be blooming. As usual, I'm totally overwhelmed with trying to document every funny thing this kid says. Besides the usual screeching of "I'M NEVER GOING TO BED!!" her cute, little phrases like "Well, hello, my dearie," just crack us up and melt our hearts.

Last Friday night, I went out with Kim to her art show, and we didn't get back until late. Mark had put Ellie to bed at his parents' house in her usual spot, on a mattress next to my bed. I climbed into bed long after she fell asleep, so when she woke up in the morning, she had no idea it was me sleeping in the big bed. I figured that out after she whispered, "Daddy? Is that you?"

So, I ducked under the covers and peeked out at her. Her little eyes looked right at mine, and she started laughing... and laughing. She fell over onto her pillow and laughed more.

Finally, I ducked my head out, she looked straight at me and said, "Mama! I looked up! I peeked at the blankets, and I saw an EYE!!!!! And, I thought, 'Hmm... who is that!?'"

So freakin' adorable! When I pick her up at day care, she runs to me, jumps in my arms, and says, "Awww... you old fool!!" She's definitely the silly kid in class, and the antics continue at home.

Bedtime is an absolute nightmare, but we laugh a lot. She's getting more daring and thinks nothing of scaling furniture to launch herself onto my shoulders or diving 3 feet off her bed to catch me before I try to sneak out the door. Like most kids, she needs to use the potty twice, have 2 glasses of milk, 1 glass of water. By that time, I'm tackling my freelance work and pass those tasks off to my loving husband. Ha!

There's non-stop conversation from Elle -- "Did you know snowflakes taste like candlelight?" That's sweet! "No, I think they taste like cheese." "Mama, is tomorrow a day care day?" "Excuse me, Mama!! Is tomorrow a day care day!?" YES.

"Ellie, if you don't get to bed, snowman (our version of elf-on-the-shelf) won't bring you a treat in the morning."

"No, no, no!!" she says, "Hold on."

She goes and finds snowman Olaf and puts him right next to the tree. She gives him a little pep talk and rushes off to bed.