I'm Going to Talk to Her

Another Bloggy Moms' Blog Dare! I'm Going to Talk to Her...

Melissa introduced me to this incredible pic!
Via the NicCageAsEveryone.blogspot.com blog!

Do you (or did you) find that as you grew into your role as a mom that it became increasingly easier to talk to people, especially about matters relating to your child?

I struggle with being confrontational. I was great at it when I was younger, but now I value my relationships more and want to handle matters in a mature, rational way, while causing the least amount of damage... instead of saying the first thing that pops into my mind... especially, because, let's face it, my mind is a strange place to be. One minute, I'm thinking about going for a walk in the park, the next what I'll make for dinner, and then, "Are fairies real?" and "What would Nicholas Cage look like as a Disney princess?" (shakes my head).

I also have a history of being somewhat offensive, both in- and unin-tentionally. If you get me angry enough, I may come out with a random, "Well, you smell like garbage" or "That's okay, at least I don't look like... Nicholas Cage dressed as a Disney princess."

And, I'm totally distracted right now, because my co-worker (the one whose wife must work for the Food Network) just opened a Tupperware container filled with freshly-heated goulash. The smell wafted right in my direction, and I'm going to attack him.

Ok, where were we? (wipes sauce off my face)

Oh yeah, it's hard for me to confront someone, even in my mellow, everything-is-okay way. To add to the internal struggles, my anxiety tells me things like, "Don't let E go near mosquitoes..." She plays outside near the woods at day care every day, and last year I got really concerned about mosquitoes and which nasty little diseases they might spread to my kid.

It was one of the first things I felt like I needed to discuss with E's day care teacher, and I struggled so much. Three days I went in, dropped E off with the teacher, said, "I'm going to talk to her," and left without saying anything. Then I worried all day that she'd come home with bug bites.

I don't know what I was more afraid of, bug bites, or the day care teachers thinking I was crazy. Finally, I went in on the fourth day, and tried for an opening to discuss it... "How has the weather been in the morning?" I said, casually. She said, "Fine, and the kids really love being outside!"

"BUT WHAT ABOUT MOSQUITOES!!??" I yelled, in my head.

Then calmly, "I've been worried about mosquitoes and all this talk about illness spreading via mosquito bites. Do you think I should bring in some bug spray for E? And are there any that would be environment-friendly and okay for a baby?"

Pretty sure she was wondering how we went from, "Fine weather we're having!" to "Where are the mosquitoes? How can I kill them all and protect the tiny, innocent children from their certain demise?"

But she was very professional and told me that they haven't had any mosquito problems, recommended some bug sprays if I was concerned, and told me not to worry. Then I was fine. I just had to talk it out, to put the "crazy" out on the table.

The good thing was that, the more I forced myself to talk to her, even about little things, the easier it got to talk to her about everything, and now we even joke about all my funny anxieties I had about E when she was a baby. E has been going to the same day care now for over a year, and I have a great relationship with the staff there. It's made the entire process so much easier, and I find it much easier to talk to people about what is and isn't okay when it comes to my kid!